I brought him home to my apartment. He was a good dancer who had looked deep into my eyes. I’m sure he knew that was the way to a lady’s heart. I’m sure that he had looked into many a lady’s eyes in this same fashion, on many dance floors. Tonight I was that lady. But I wasn’t falling for him. He was too tall. Lanky. Although nicely dressed. Dockers, with a dark blue, long-sleeve button-up. On his feet he wore smooth brown leather dance shoes, on top, a baby blue beret covering a smooth shaven head. He was from Turkey; I found out later. A soft-spoken, considerate man. He danced with me in a way I had never experienced. In a way that I loved. Organic. With lifts and dips. Making contact in totally unique ways. I met him with each step and every turn, flowed with him, followed his lead. I put my trust in this stranger when he picked me up; arching my back and letting my head fall in a beautiful arc. My petite form transforming with every move he presented. We were creating a work of art together. The club was very crowded. We were like nothing else on the dance floor. Nothing else that had ever been created.
As the night drew on, he had to leave to go help his friend. When the club closed, my friend and I made our way outside and discovered my new dance partner had returned. He was waiting by the door for me. I invited him along for the ride when I took my friend home. After we dropped her off, we decided to look for another dance opportunity. His current home in San Francisco had plenty of early morning opportunities unlike my small mid-western city, we soon discovered. Instead of dancing, we ended up sitting on a bench talking for another hour. He told me he was in an open relationship. It sounded like a relationship with mutual respect, trust, and much love.
He walked me back to my car. As I stood against a tree I knew what was hanging between us. Did we part here, or did I invite him back to my place? One night stands had never worked for me. Honestly I hadn’t ever gone as far as trying it. They just weren’t my thing. But this was different somehow. He was leaving for California in the morning. I may never see him again. Something about that made it okay. Right, even. I didn’t know why. That’s just how it was. It took courage on my part. I told him I was bashful, as I looked up and said the words, “Do you want to come over to my place and stay the night? Just to cuddle?” He said he would like that very much, then he hugged me. It felt awkward with our difference in size. We moved apart, hopped into my dusty blue Ford Escape, and headed west to my apartment on the other side of town.
I found my feelings and behavior curious but did not judge them in the slightest. We agreed I would get something to eat before we headed to bed to spoon and sleep. I was very hungry. Sitting on the couch, eating my grapefruit, he started fading, having second thoughts about staying. “The friend I’m staying with might worry about me. I have a plane to catch early in the morning. I will be tired.”
I knew that was my cue. It was time to put my food, and my hunger, aside if I wanted to keep ahold of this interesting creature I had lured into my den. So grapefruit placed on the end table, I scooted over and snuggled up under his arm. In a matter of seconds we ended up chest to chest, torso to torso, and so on. I’m not sure exactly how it happened but it all felt very nice and natural. He made mention that we were doing more than cuddling and asked if I was comfortable with that. I replied in the affirmative. I had made a commitment the previous week to start saying yes. So, here I was, saying yes.
We established the boundary of not having sex, then proceeded to do things that two bodies on a couch, at two in the morning, might be inclined to do, creating wonderful electric energy. We continued to move and touch in very different ways than on the dance floor, establishing boundaries along the way for what each was comfortable with. I asked him if he was okay going down this road, without reaching the standard destination. He said he was fine with it. The energy was pretty strong, so we took rests every now and then. Hours before I had seen a lanky stranger with a face I did not find attractive. Now I saw a classy man who looked quite beautiful. He seemed to have forgotten all about his roommate. His early flight. Or how tired he might be. He had acquired plenty of energy for our early morning activities. I definitely had moments when I realized what I had done. How it had the potential to be a bad choice. How I was in a very compromising situation with a stranger from a distant land who could easily overpower me if he chose, or if his passion overtook him and could not be contained. He was leaning closer and closer towards wanting to break from our original boundary, so we continued taking turns putting the breaks on.
We both knew it would have to end at some point. After what felt like a fairly short time period, I told him, “I think I should get to bed. Do you want to join me?” He said he was pretty sure we would not get any sleep given our demonstrated chemistry. He suggested a joint cold shower, then ruled that out as well. The only other option was to call an Uber so he could make the trip to his friend’s apartment on the south side of town.
The driver arrived. We walked to the door and hugged goodbye. Another awkward moment, my petite frame to his towering one. We stood at the door for a moment, I asked, “Do you know my last name?” He said he would get it from Rachel. I didn’t tell him I had only met Rachel that night and she didn’t know my last name either. Instead, I closed the door and headed to my bedroom.
I glanced at the clock. It read 6:00 a.m. I had no concept that we had stayed up all night. I didn’t think I had ever stayed up all night. I didn’t feel tired and wondered what to do next. Do I go to sleep or stay up? What do people typically do in this instance, I wondered. After all, it was already the beginning of a new day.
I chose sleep, and drifted off thinking about this interesting experience I had added to my life.
Life is interesting. I have turned down many one-night offers, usually after a night of dancing. This night I was the one to make the offer, and he accepted.
Life is funny. The lessons in impermanence are infinite. Who knows what tomorrow will bring! : )
Copyright Suzanne Norton September 2017