I crawl from my bed to the living room and back again. Writing, sleeping, and writing some more. I’m not sick. Not depressed. Just in that languid state. I honor what my body tells me, even though my mind chastises every so often. Cups line my writing table, chocolate soy milk, water, green tea, and a dish filled with green olive pits. I wonder if you’ll read this. Likes have been scarce lately. Seems too much energy to try and do something about it. Where did my loyal followers go? Are you out there?
Brief thoughts come to mind throughout the day of my lastnight lover. We decided it wasn’t meant to be, friends-with-benefits that is. We discovered it’s just not our style. He left my place the way he found it. Neither of us any worse for the wear. Just two kids experimenting with our sexuality. Finding out what suits us, and what doesn’t. He’s new to the singles game as well. Spending his whole adult life married, like me. So we chalked it up to yet another learning experience as we walk together down this similar path on a very new road.
I had plans to switch gears and go do Yoga at this juncture of the day, but I really don’t want to leave the house…again. A similar story on Saturday – on the couch all day -sleeping, writing, eating a bit, then repeat. A body in motion stays in motion. That usually describes me. This body has been saying, rest, and I am proud of myself for listening. So, the new slogan has been, a body at rest, stays at rest. I want to write. Maybe the 5:45 class would suit me better than the 4:30 today. Giving me more time to write. And possibly rest. It’s 3:30 now. I’ve taken up hot yoga. I sweat a lot. Maybe I’ll just lay on the mat and sleep. That’s always an option. Some people do it. It’s 105 degrees. It’s an 80 minute class.
I also texted a friend about swing dancing to some Blues tonight at 8:00, but I don’t know if he’s up for it or not. I hope I will be up for it, if he gives the green light. He’s a real sweetheart! A great dancer. I’m glad to have him as a friend.
This will be a busy week and I think my body is just gearing up for it. It does that sometimes. Overrides my thinking side and just goes into sloth mode knowing that there will be no stopping the rest of the week. I feel lucky that way. It’s good to know my body has the wisdom to take care of me, to take care of itself if I don’t override it. Although I don’t always recognize what’s going on right away.
I started another post earlier which I will come back to later. I am excited about the insights I’ve been having. I don’t think I did anything on my to-do list. I was happy to write it though. I look over at my red couch, minus the cushions that I’m sitting on, in my chair, at my writing table. It looks so different. The couch that is. Naked, I guess. It’s a part of my life, my household, yet it seems oddly foreign at this moment. Like a family member that I don’t really know. Like someone I have lived with for years ~ then one day I wake up and think, “who are you?” Then I wonder “who am I?”
Copyright Suzanne Norton 2016