Here Again

It’s been awhile.  I used to come here every Saturday and write.  I wrote about the people, about my surroundings, what was happening right there in the moment.  Saturday was my day to do whatever I wanted.  By myself, no children, no husband.  First Tai Chi class, then here to Uprise, a locally run bakery/coffee shop, to write.  Then to Stephen’s Lake, for walking and communing with nature.  At Stephen’s I also wrote.  About nature, not people.  Sometimes I walked the Katy Trail, then back to my car where I wrote about the beauty I had just experienced.

Today is Monday.  In eight days it will be two years since the first day of my new life.   In my new life, I don’t go to Tai Chi on Saturdays.  I don’t come here to write, or walk at Stephen’s, or hike the trail.  I wonder what I do on Saturdays now.  I’m not sure.  I used to be in a writing group, at another coffee shop, but that disbanded in the summer due to lack of commitment by the members.  I think I’ll check with them to see if they feel like committing to winter writing.

I walk the trail on other days.  I might even go today.  Usually I walk for an end goal, for transportation.  More often I ride my bike, but lately I seem to be driving more.

There is so much to do in my life.  Business, finances, teenagers, friends, exercise, more exercise, learning, writing, on and on.

I have been dreaming about my ex-husband the past two weeks.  I still don’t like that term.  I think maybe former husband sounds a little better.  In my dreams my former husband and I are in the same location.  He wants to be back together with me.  He is nice and seems happy.  I am a bit uncomfortable because I’m not interested in getting back together.  Last night I dreamed he wanted to commit suicide.  That he drove his truck recklessly on purpose and was badly injured in an accident but did not die.  I wasn’t there.  It happened in Illinois.  My son was there.  I was more worried about him seeing his father after the accident than I was about his father’s well-being.

I need to move on now.  It’s lunchtime and it’s filling up in here.  And I’m not eating.  I should give my table up to someone who is spending money and not just taking up space drinking room temp water.  I did eat a cookie earlier.

Be back later.

 

About Suzanne

I write poetry, flash fiction, quotes and personal essays. Words flow forth like a river that cannot be dammed. Writing is my soul.
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