Hunger

I thought I would be writing about the blue sky again today, as it’s once again unbelievably glorious.  But the word that popped into my head when I put my fingers to the keyboard was hunger.

I’m sitting in my car in the parking lot of one of my favorite parks watching people walk by, come and go.  An elderly couple hold hands as they walk on the paved path.  Singles with dogs. People in various attire. Coats, shorts, mid-drift-exposing exercise tops. Bodies different shapes and sizes.  All but one Caucasian.   Friends- one tall, one short, both female.  Mostly women, just a few men, and no children today.

The breeze blows in my open window and across my bare legs, exposed by the floral rayon skirt I am wearing.  This park is always a place of peace for me.  The trail, the grass, trees, lake, and hills.  And, of course, the people.

I am an observer.  A dreamer.  A thinker.  An artist in material, as well as ethereal, mediums.  I judge the couple getting out of their car, based on their appearance. They are both obese. I am working with my judgement of others, and self. Trying to replace negative thoughts with one word – Love.

My title, Hunger, is a literal one.  I am in need of sustenance.  It’s been hard for me to eat lately.  I go through these spells occasionally.  Since I predominantly consume fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds, I get bored from time to time.  Now is one of those times.  I would rather be doing other things than eating.  I am very much into health.  Physical as well as mental.  I tell my class, “Listen to your body.”  I don’t always practice what I preach.  I want to visit other cultures, more primitive ones, to learn about their ways.  In the Western world most people have gotten so far away from the natural ways of surviving, myself included.  I don’t grow my own food.  It comes from my friend’s gardens, and from the grocery store.  Last week my friend went shopping with me, and bought my groceries.  This is an unusual time for me.  I am asking others for help, to help make ends meet.  And trying to remember; it’s okay, they want to help.  I have helped others in the past.  It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

A church paid my rent this month. I have $30 in the bank to get me through until Friday.

I hung my art in a local health food store today.  It looks beautiful.  Photography fuels my creative passion, and hopefully will put money in the bank…to buy more food.  (It all comes full circle.) My installation portrays multiple images of a single vegetable. I am optimistic about selling my artwork.  I have another piece in a gallery exhibit.  The reception and awards are this weekend.

Maybe I will win first place and take myself out to eat. It’s somehow more appealing when someone else fixes.

About Suzanne

I write poetry, flash fiction, quotes and personal essays. Words flow forth like a river that cannot be dammed. Writing is my soul.
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